You talkin' to ME?

Do you understand the words
that are coming out of your mouth?

We've all got an inner monologue and I'm pretty sure that everyone's inner voice has the nasty habit of being negative from time to time.  Hey, we're human, it happens.

But so many people have an inner voice that pops up way more often than it should, and it tells them terrible things about their own body.  You ate too much, you ran too little, you are not good enough.  Many of us become so used to hearing these messages that we even start to believe our own negative hype.

Let's put this in perspective.

Think about a negative thought that you may have about your body.  Now, imagine saying that thought, out loud, to your best friend.  Or your sister.  Or your dog.  Like this:

"Hey best friend, if you don't lose 10 pounds, no one will ever love you."

WHOA, hold the heck on, you say.  I would never talk about my best friend like that!  He/She is so awesome, who cares about 10 pounds?!

Exactly.

Why is it ok to tell ourselves these awful things that we would never in a million years say, or even think, about the people in our lives that we love so dearly?  Newsflash: it's not.

Thinking about my eating disorder this way had a huge impact on my recovery.  I first read about this concept in this great book Life Without Ed by Jenni Schaefer .  She described looking at her eating disorder as an abusive boyfriend named Ed (ED = eating disorder.  Convenient, huh?).  So many strong women like Jenni, and myself, would never take crap from a boyfriend but yet engage in a never ending abusive relationship within their own mind.  If some dude I was dating told me my butt was looking a little big in my pants, his own ass would be cold and alone in bed that night.  But yet, I used to tell myself that, and worse, multiple times a day.

So the next time you're berating yourself for going to happy hour with an old friend after a particularly bad day at work, or ordering dessert at your friend's birthday dinner, think about saying those thoughts out loud to another person.  Then flip your own internal script.

Mama always said, if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all.