You get what you give: not just a one hit wonder.

Sadly, since I'm a pop culture addict, the phrase "You get what you give," brings to memories a one hit wonder band from the 90's called The New Radicals.  My boyfriend when I was 16 (hi, Tim!) was one of four people in America to buy the full album, so I heard the song often.  Thus, whenever this cliche is uttered I immediately start singing, "Wake! Up! Kids!  We've got the dreamers disease, age, 14, they got you down on your knees, da da da *mumble mumble* you only GET WHAT YOU GIIIIIVE!"  ((Check out this cute little video to hear it in all its train wreck glory. Oooh, penguins! )

Remember these guys?  Uh...me either.

What does this have to do anything?  Well, for one, the story amuses me, BUT the real reason I started on this tangent is because no where does the phrase "You get what you give" ring more true than in the gym.  This is what got me hooked on spin.  Sure, when you run a mile, you're only running as fast as you can push yourself,  but since I don't give a crap about running fast this was never a motivating factor for me.  BUT, put me in a dark room with Britney Spears blasting and some muscley sweaty man yelling at me to move my ass and I channel my hatred towards him into a killer workout that leaves me wanting to make sweet, sweet love to him by the end of class. (Damn you endorphins.)

I remind my students of this when I'm teaching my own classes: why did you drag your ass out of bed at 6am this morning?  To watch me work out?  I don't think so.  The ONLY person you are cheating when you don't give as much as you can during a workout is....yourself.  Sucks, doesn't it?  You think I don't see you pretending to twist the resistance knob to the right as we climb a hill in class?  I do, but even if I didn't, it doesn't mean you burned more calories because you were able to "trick" me.

Whether you want bigger muscles or a smaller size of Sevens, the ONLY person who can make that happen is YOU.  If you're not willing to put in the blood, sweat, and hours it takes to train and to shop for healthy food, then your dream will remain that: a dream.  

Whining doesn't burn calories.

Give me 10 minutes.

Listen up, folks!  I'm about to let you in on the only 10 minute exercise plan that will actually work.  Guarantee it!  No Jersey Shore meat head endorsements, no clearly photo shopped before and after photos, no overpriced horrible tasting supplements to buy.  This will get you on the path to fitness, change your body, and send feel good signals to your brain and the best part is: it's free.

"Lies!" you say.  "If it sounds too good to be true it probably is!"  Well yes, my wise fitness-y grasshopper, usually that is the case.  But this time, it's as easy as it sounds.

OK Homer, but give me 10 minutes on the treadmill first!

Tomorrow when you wake up, (or head out of the office, depending on your exercise schedule) dreading your workout, I want you to tell yourself, "All I have to do is run/bike/hike/swim/spin/boot camp for 10 minutes."  10 minutes.  That's it.  And after 10 minutes if you would rather stick forks in your eyes then do another minute of physical activity, you can stop.  For real.  Go sit down on the couch and open a beer for all I care.  What I do care about is those 10 minutes.

You see, one of my favorite things about exercise, in addition to making us fit into our clothes, is that once you start doing it, your body releases these nifty little hormones called endorphins.  Know when else your brain lets these fun little chemicals out to play?  During an orgasm.  So it's true, exercise really IS as good as sex!

My point is: once you start doing a physical activity, even if you try to make excuses to yourself that would put a 7th grader who forgot to do his homework to shame, chances are you'll keep going for longer than your initial 10 minutes.  You'll be hitting your running stride, checking out that cute girl/guy on the treadmill next to you, and next thing you know 10 minutes are up.  And since you've already driven to the gym/hiking path/pool, found parking, and dealt with that annoying guy at the front desk who always calls you "bruh", you might as well continue kicking ass and taking names for another 20 minutes or more.

Everyone can find 10 minutes. And heck, if you need another reason to give it a shot think about this: every 10 minutes you exercise, somewhere a Kardashian loses it (and it's crappy weight loss product endorsement) wings.

Don't let the terrorists win.

The price of fitness

Being a 6 foot tall woman, pants are very important to me.  Specifically, the fit of my pants.  Haunted by photos from my childhood where my pant legs were hanging 3 inches from the floor, paired with (traumatic) memories of my mom asking me when the flood I was prepared for was happening, it's become one of my "things." (Unsurprisingly, therapy is also one of my "things.")  Consequently, I will spare no expense when it comes to the cost of my pants.

What does this have to do with anything?

If paying for this guy to train you is what
will get you in the gym, count your pennies
and do it.

Sometimes in order to commit to fitness, you have to make it one of your "things."  And by thing I mean you make it a priority in your budget, not just your life.  Yeah, 24 Hour Fitness has great membership fees that can run you only $20/month, but if the closest one to your house is 10 miles in the opposite direction of your job and your apartment, how likely is it that you're going to make a habit of going there?  Or maybe there's a gym in the same shopping center as your office that you're a member of, but you'd rather gargle with ground glass than shower there before work.  You can either go at a different time, OR you can spend the extra money to find a gym with eucalyptus towels that will start your day off right.

The amount of money I spend on my pilates every month could cover the lease of the brand new Acura TL I'm coveting.  Yeah, it's that expensive.  But you know what?  Pilates has made me leaner and been way more fun than any other exercise I've ever tried.  It's why I've stuck with it for 3+ years and it still challenges me every session. I know if I went back to training on my own I'd be bored in a month and frustrated by the lack of changes in my body.  And so, I drive a 2013 Acura in my dreams, and a 2003 Lexus, with a dented front end, in real life.  Because I'd rather spend my money on getting visibly ripped 6 pack abs than on a sexier vehicle to drive my less sexy self around in.  

So take a look at that gym membership that's automatically being taken out of your bank account each month but that you haven't actually put to use in 6 weeks.  I bet if you stopped going out to (likely unhealthy) lunches twice a week at the office and combined that money with the gym fees you're already paying, you could go check out that new cardio barre studio you've been wanting to try.  Or pay for a trainer at that personal training gym right next to the office.  I bet you'll even be surprised at how good it feels spending the money on something that you enjoy and can stick with even if it costs more than the Joe Gym membership.  

Remember, fitness doesn't have to feel like a punishment.  Much like life, it's ok to indulge in luxuries if ultimately it'll help make you a happier, healthier you.

Yeahhhh, I'm going to need you to come in on Saturday....

Every Monday morning at 5:45am my alarm goes off.

It wakes me from the dreams of a fun filled weekend and shakes me back to a reality filled with emails to answer, phone calls to return, and 50+ hours spent chained to my desk.  While this sounds quite unappealing (and trust me, a lot of the time, IT IS) there's a method to the madness and that "madness" is a paycheck.  I go to work every day so that I can bring home a paycheck and be able to afford a roof over my head, food on the table, and the occasional overpriced pair of designer jeans.

Let's take this example and apply it to your body.  

What if you looked at your body as your full-time job, with your health as your paycheck?  I imagine you'd be treating it a heck of a lot better than many people do on a day to day basis.  You'd probably be working a little harder and paying a little bit more attention to what goes in your mouth if you knew that at the end of the week it meant you'd have money to be able to buy yourself some fancy shoes at Prada.

OK, so this is not quite what I mean.

Unfortunately, most people don't take their health nearly as seriously as they do their work.  Have a meeting with the boss at 5pm on Friday?  Bet you're not canceling it even if you spill chicken parm all over your tie while you're at lunch.  Have to stay 20 minutes late to finish that very important project?  This annoyance is reason to cancel your gym date with your bff and go home and watch this week's episode of Revenge with your good friends Ben & Jerry.

What am I getting at?

Working out should be an appointment that you can't cancel.  Eating right should be a deadline that you can't miss.  Look, I get it, work is demanding and it's hard to make time to go to the gym.  But when did keeping the ol' ticker working so that you can oh, I don't know, stay alive become something that can easily be brushed aside while you'd miss your first born's birth before you'd ignore an email from the boss?

It's time to get your priorities in order.  I'm sure every one of us could find thirty minutes somewhere in the day to go for a walk.  It's why my alarm goes off so ungodly early.  I may not always want to get up that early but I know what my morning gym session does for my mind and my body so, much like a weekly meeting at the office I'm required to attend, I do not cancel on myself unless there are extreme circumstances.  (And yes, occasionally a very hot man in bed with me qualifies as an "extreme circumstance.")

Eating right and exercising are not options, they are essential to your longevity.  You're not going to have the time to spend all that money you're killing yourself to earn if you are literally killing yourself by not taking care of your health.  So stop thinking of it as something you'll do "when you have time" and start making it a daily date that will get you fired if you miss.

The boss has spoken.

The only workout buddy who never flakes

Who could it be?

I love a good workout buddy.  After I missed a spin class we'd planned on taking, I once had my workout buddy call and leave me a voicemail saying, "I'm looking to cast someone for the role of WORST FRIEND EVER and she needs to be reallllllly fat.  Byeeee."  He was teasing & I laughed so hard I cried but trust me, I never missed a spin class I scheduled with him again.

However, people are not perfect.  Inevitably at some point during your relationship, your workout buddy will get sick, tired, hungover, or all of the above.  So while I LOVE a good gym partner, I also understand the limits of the relationship. (now if only I could apply this lesson to men...)

So what if I told you I know of a workout buddy who would NEVER cancel on you.  Who would always be happy to get your butt out the door rain or shine, hot or cold, hungover or tired.  Sounds too good to be true, right?  Well, it is almost is.

Best.  Workout Buddies.  Ever.

 Meet my favorite "people" to workout with: Sadie (in black) and Maggie (the tall one).  When I adopted Sadie 6 years ago she was 80 pounds.  80 POUNDS on that small little body.  (To give you perspective, in this recent pic she is at a happy healthy 48 pounds.)  She clearly needed to lose weight.  So we walked.  A lot.  And guess what?  Not only did SHE lose 20 pounds but *I* lost 13!  We didn't do doggie Crossfit or any of that nonsense....we just walked.  We walked for about 20 minutes every day and the weight fell off of us both.  Now Sadie is a bit older and more arthritic, so I take my roommate's dog, Maggie.  Maggie is always game for a 6 mile hike, 5 mile walk on the beach, or even a 4 mile run.  And she always is SUPER excited about it.  What other workout buddy have you had who bounces off the walls because they get to go run with you?  Her attitude is infectious and her happiness during our exercise motivates me to go farther and faster because she is having so much fun.

These buddies come with their own set of issues even though they are consistent gym partners.  So PLEASE don't adopt on a whim.  They require a lot of time, energy, and money.  BUT the love they give back is tenfold and you'll always have a friend ready for an outdoor calorie burning adventure, even when you're not.

If that's not a win-win, I don't know what is.

UPDATE:  Well looky here!  Was doing some dog related research on the ol' internet and it seems I'm in good company in my thinking of dog as fitness partner.  Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) says she used her dog as a fitness trainer when her doctor told her she should drop a few pounds. Not so Fat Greek Wedding anymore!