Me and Charlize Theron

Who the hell am I comparing myself to a supermodel, you ask?  Well, according to a nifty little chart from the BBC, our BMI's are probably pretty similar.

What am I talking about? This, the global fat scale!  This is a fun and informative gadget where you enter your weight and height and it spits back a bunch of information at you like what your BMI is, where you rank on the national scale of your country (average, above average, etc.) and what country's people your BMI most resembles.  Mine is South Africa, hence the Charlize Theron connection.

Here's an interesting fact: I had a few of my friends do this and not one of them had a BMI similar to an American.  My friends are a pretty fit bunch so I wasn't too shocked, but it says a lot about the size (literally) of our country when people who are of a healthy weight are not the common denominator.

This is not ok.

Yeah.  I said it.

I know you have heard me preach about body acceptance day after day, but there is a big difference between acceptance and denial.  We are a country that's in denial.  And because we see so many people around us who are also in denial, this has become the new normal.  I repeat: this is not ok.

When I was in throes of my ED, running to the bathroom to throw up my food post meal was my "normal".  Is that an ok health behavior to you, dear reader?  No?  If you saw me doing this would you try to tell me to stop?  Well then why should I stand by and watch you eat yourself into an early death?  Someone needs to grab us by our collective shoulders and shake us into waking the hell up.

Yes, losing weight is hard.  Yes, it can be un-fun.  And yes, even once you lose the weight you have to maintain healthy habits, which isn't as easy as downing 4 beers on a Friday night.   But what IS fun is being able to go hiking with your friends, to be there for your kids into your old age, to be able to move a table you bought off craig'slist into your apartment (Did it this week, thankyouverymuch!).

The only way we can improve our standing in the international health rankings is by each making a commitment to our own health.  I'm not asking you to be responsible for the American population's average BMI, just yours.  So check out your chart, and if you don't have a healthy BMI, let's get moving! 

Give me 10 minutes.

Listen up, folks!  I'm about to let you in on the only 10 minute exercise plan that will actually work.  Guarantee it!  No Jersey Shore meat head endorsements, no clearly photo shopped before and after photos, no overpriced horrible tasting supplements to buy.  This will get you on the path to fitness, change your body, and send feel good signals to your brain and the best part is: it's free.

"Lies!" you say.  "If it sounds too good to be true it probably is!"  Well yes, my wise fitness-y grasshopper, usually that is the case.  But this time, it's as easy as it sounds.

OK Homer, but give me 10 minutes on the treadmill first!

Tomorrow when you wake up, (or head out of the office, depending on your exercise schedule) dreading your workout, I want you to tell yourself, "All I have to do is run/bike/hike/swim/spin/boot camp for 10 minutes."  10 minutes.  That's it.  And after 10 minutes if you would rather stick forks in your eyes then do another minute of physical activity, you can stop.  For real.  Go sit down on the couch and open a beer for all I care.  What I do care about is those 10 minutes.

You see, one of my favorite things about exercise, in addition to making us fit into our clothes, is that once you start doing it, your body releases these nifty little hormones called endorphins.  Know when else your brain lets these fun little chemicals out to play?  During an orgasm.  So it's true, exercise really IS as good as sex!

My point is: once you start doing a physical activity, even if you try to make excuses to yourself that would put a 7th grader who forgot to do his homework to shame, chances are you'll keep going for longer than your initial 10 minutes.  You'll be hitting your running stride, checking out that cute girl/guy on the treadmill next to you, and next thing you know 10 minutes are up.  And since you've already driven to the gym/hiking path/pool, found parking, and dealt with that annoying guy at the front desk who always calls you "bruh", you might as well continue kicking ass and taking names for another 20 minutes or more.

Everyone can find 10 minutes. And heck, if you need another reason to give it a shot think about this: every 10 minutes you exercise, somewhere a Kardashian loses it (and it's crappy weight loss product endorsement) wings.

Don't let the terrorists win.

The price of fitness

Being a 6 foot tall woman, pants are very important to me.  Specifically, the fit of my pants.  Haunted by photos from my childhood where my pant legs were hanging 3 inches from the floor, paired with (traumatic) memories of my mom asking me when the flood I was prepared for was happening, it's become one of my "things." (Unsurprisingly, therapy is also one of my "things.")  Consequently, I will spare no expense when it comes to the cost of my pants.

What does this have to do with anything?

If paying for this guy to train you is what
will get you in the gym, count your pennies
and do it.

Sometimes in order to commit to fitness, you have to make it one of your "things."  And by thing I mean you make it a priority in your budget, not just your life.  Yeah, 24 Hour Fitness has great membership fees that can run you only $20/month, but if the closest one to your house is 10 miles in the opposite direction of your job and your apartment, how likely is it that you're going to make a habit of going there?  Or maybe there's a gym in the same shopping center as your office that you're a member of, but you'd rather gargle with ground glass than shower there before work.  You can either go at a different time, OR you can spend the extra money to find a gym with eucalyptus towels that will start your day off right.

The amount of money I spend on my pilates every month could cover the lease of the brand new Acura TL I'm coveting.  Yeah, it's that expensive.  But you know what?  Pilates has made me leaner and been way more fun than any other exercise I've ever tried.  It's why I've stuck with it for 3+ years and it still challenges me every session. I know if I went back to training on my own I'd be bored in a month and frustrated by the lack of changes in my body.  And so, I drive a 2013 Acura in my dreams, and a 2003 Lexus, with a dented front end, in real life.  Because I'd rather spend my money on getting visibly ripped 6 pack abs than on a sexier vehicle to drive my less sexy self around in.  

So take a look at that gym membership that's automatically being taken out of your bank account each month but that you haven't actually put to use in 6 weeks.  I bet if you stopped going out to (likely unhealthy) lunches twice a week at the office and combined that money with the gym fees you're already paying, you could go check out that new cardio barre studio you've been wanting to try.  Or pay for a trainer at that personal training gym right next to the office.  I bet you'll even be surprised at how good it feels spending the money on something that you enjoy and can stick with even if it costs more than the Joe Gym membership.  

Remember, fitness doesn't have to feel like a punishment.  Much like life, it's ok to indulge in luxuries if ultimately it'll help make you a happier, healthier you.

Baby steps to the elevator....

Since I live in Hollywood and work in the industry, my thinking is often influenced by the entertainment industry.  (You just have to look at this post and this post to see what I mean.)  So today let's take a look at what one of my favorite movies, What About Bob, can teach you about your fitness goals!

Baby Steps.

I love this magical phrase!  Heck, I live this magical phrase!  We all know "that guy."  That guy who's never run a lap in his life but all of a sudden gets a brilliant idea that in order to motivate himself to be fit he'll sign up for a marathon that runs in a month.   He trains like hell for 3 days and then gives up because he hurt himself or he's feeling lazy and if he can't run that marathon goal he set for himself, then why bother running at all?

"That guy" is an idiot.

OK, idiot is harsh, let's call him misguided, shall we?  The intention is good, the execution is all wrong.  What he should do is break his plan down into baby steps.

I'll give you an example of a friend of mine, we'll call him Matt.  I would always talk to Matt about how great it felt getting up in the morning and working out before I went to work so, inspired by my waxing poetic, Matt decided to try it himself.  The first day, his alarm went off and he was awake but he stayed in bed.  The second day he got up but he complained to me that he was a failure because he only worked out for 10 minutes.  Man, what a loser, right?

WRONG!  This is baby steps at work!!

Instead of beating himself up for only working out for 10 minutes in the morning, I told Matt he should congratulate himself for getting up and working out for 10 minutes more than he did yesterday morning.  Then tomorrow he should challenge himself to get up and work out for 20 minutes.  Before he knew it, he would be getting up and working out for an hour in the morning and the whole process would be a hell of a lot less painful than Matt was already making it for himself.

Stop trying to go from 0 - 60 in a millisecond.  If a Porsche can't do it, what makes you think you should?  Pick one goal for yourself that you are going to do for one day.  That's it.  One day.  Don't think about tomorrow or yesterday, focus on this one day.  When you achieve this goal for this one day, then take stock of how you feel.  Did it make you feel good?  Great!  Try it again tomorrow but just for TOMORROW only.

Stop overwhelming yourself with the big picture and how many minutes on the treadmill it's going to take you to get there.  Yes, you can have an overall bigger goal, but during the process set those mini goals for yourself.  It makes habit changing much more manageable, enjoyable, and likely to stick.

What are you going to do today?

The only workout buddy who never flakes

Who could it be?

I love a good workout buddy.  After I missed a spin class we'd planned on taking, I once had my workout buddy call and leave me a voicemail saying, "I'm looking to cast someone for the role of WORST FRIEND EVER and she needs to be reallllllly fat.  Byeeee."  He was teasing & I laughed so hard I cried but trust me, I never missed a spin class I scheduled with him again.

However, people are not perfect.  Inevitably at some point during your relationship, your workout buddy will get sick, tired, hungover, or all of the above.  So while I LOVE a good gym partner, I also understand the limits of the relationship. (now if only I could apply this lesson to men...)

So what if I told you I know of a workout buddy who would NEVER cancel on you.  Who would always be happy to get your butt out the door rain or shine, hot or cold, hungover or tired.  Sounds too good to be true, right?  Well, it is almost is.

Best.  Workout Buddies.  Ever.

 Meet my favorite "people" to workout with: Sadie (in black) and Maggie (the tall one).  When I adopted Sadie 6 years ago she was 80 pounds.  80 POUNDS on that small little body.  (To give you perspective, in this recent pic she is at a happy healthy 48 pounds.)  She clearly needed to lose weight.  So we walked.  A lot.  And guess what?  Not only did SHE lose 20 pounds but *I* lost 13!  We didn't do doggie Crossfit or any of that nonsense....we just walked.  We walked for about 20 minutes every day and the weight fell off of us both.  Now Sadie is a bit older and more arthritic, so I take my roommate's dog, Maggie.  Maggie is always game for a 6 mile hike, 5 mile walk on the beach, or even a 4 mile run.  And she always is SUPER excited about it.  What other workout buddy have you had who bounces off the walls because they get to go run with you?  Her attitude is infectious and her happiness during our exercise motivates me to go farther and faster because she is having so much fun.

These buddies come with their own set of issues even though they are consistent gym partners.  So PLEASE don't adopt on a whim.  They require a lot of time, energy, and money.  BUT the love they give back is tenfold and you'll always have a friend ready for an outdoor calorie burning adventure, even when you're not.

If that's not a win-win, I don't know what is.

UPDATE:  Well looky here!  Was doing some dog related research on the ol' internet and it seems I'm in good company in my thinking of dog as fitness partner.  Nia Vardalos (My Big Fat Greek Wedding) says she used her dog as a fitness trainer when her doctor told her she should drop a few pounds. Not so Fat Greek Wedding anymore!

Doggone it, people like me!

Though his fashion choices could be deemed questionable, his message is spot on.

You may be asking yourself what in god's name could Stuart Smalley possible have to do with fitness and health.  Though, if you're under 25, you're probably just wondering who in god's name Stuart Smalley IS.  I can answer that question easily, here.  Stuart was an overly positive SNL character notorious for always putting a positive spin on things while being slightly delusional.  So, what does this have to do with you, me, and our own journeys to greater well-being?  I'll tell you.

Stuart always speaks in the affirmative.  This is what makes him both highly annoying and wise beyond his years.  Take that clip for example.  He doesn't say, "I hope I'm going to have a good show today."  Instead he says, "I AM going to have a good show today."  Well big deal, I bet any therapist worth half of their $150/hour fee would be able to tell you this is a good way to talk to yourself.  Yes, but Stuart is much more entertaining of a folk hero than any self indulgent therapist would be so I'm using him as an example.

When setting your health & fitness goals for the week, be more like Stuart.  Instead of saying, "I won't eat any sugar this week," a declaration that is sure to make anyone suicidal, change the wording to, "When I am craving something sweet I'll eat some fruit."  Or, "I won't sleep in and miss the gym this week," becomes, "I'll  go to 3 spin classes with my favorite teacher before Friday."  See how much more pleasant the latter examples in those sentences feel?  Instead of being something you feel a sense of dread about doing (who wants to think about a life without candy?) you give the task a positive spin and think, hey, yeah, I CAN do this.

WWSSD? (What Would Stuart Smalley Do?)

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Am I the only one who, as a child, was disappointed to find that the answer to this simple question was, "To get to the other side,"?  No?  OK, well, I was.  And why is that?  Because I like rewards.  Prizes.  Swag.  Call it what you will, I like it.

Reward yourself with this.....

I blame my childhood for this superficial aspect of my personality and I doubt that I'm alone in this.  How many of us were rewarded with things like ice cream when we got an A on a test?  A cupcake when we were the good citizen of the month?  Yes, childhood is filled with food rewards which can become problematic when we grow up.  Have a hard day at work?  Make yourself feel better with some chinese take out for dinner.  Get a promotion?  Go out to the trendy new tapas place and stuff your gullet.  And don't get me started on the holidays.

What does this have to do with your fitness?  Simple.  Stop making food a reward.  Make it to the gym 3 days this week?  No, calling Pizza Hut is NOT the way to celebrate your success.  Yet so many people fall into this trap.  What starts out as a cheat meal soon becomes a cheat day and then becomes a cheat weekend and next thing you know you're shocked that your pants still fit exactly the same.

....not that.

I learned this lesson many years ago and have a fabulous fitness wardrobe as a result.  One day I decided to stop rewarding myself with a creation from Coldstone as big as my head and instead, once I kept up my new fitness habit for 3 weeks, I treated myself to a new piece of workout wear from Lululemon.  Is it expensive?  Hell yes, absurdly so.  But I'll be damned if I wasn't more motivated to stick with it knowing there was a pretty new tank top to show off my strong looking lats if I hit my goal for the week.

I chose 3 weeks because I can't afford to shop Lulu every 7 days, but you can pick smaller items so that you can reward yourself weekly.  Want the new Nicholas Sparks novel?  Ugh, first, get some taste, but then, hey!  Can't have it til you eat protein with every meal from Monday to Friday.  Dying to download Adele's new album?  Go to spin class 3 times and it's yours.  You're still working towards a happy weekend treat only this one isn't going to leave you bloated and craving even more salt and sugar come Monday.

Try it out and give yourself a weekly fitness Christmas only without the stress and obnoxious relatives!

Hate running? Don't do it.

Listen up.  I'm about to impart wisdom that those of you who hate running have been dying to hear:

If you hate it, you don't have to do it.

Yes, I am giving you 100% permission to banish running from your fitness routine.  Starting today, you never have to do it again!  But, like most things in life, there is a catch.

You have to find what it is you do love.  People often ask me what *I* do to stay as lean as I am.  What does it matter?  What works for me might not work for you.  Take spinning for example.  I am spin fanatic!  In fact, I love it so much that 2 years ago I got certified as a spin teacher so I could share my passion with others.  "Others" started out as two friends of mine who were so inspired by my excitement about spin that they asked to come to a class with me.

They hated it.

HA!  I could've been confused by this, but I get it!  My passion is MY passion, not theirs.  They have to find what works for them.  That's why these "one size fits all" workout programs that guarantee results are such bullshit to me.  NOTHING gets results if you'd rather stick forks in your eyes than do the workout.  Yet people continue to punish themselves and attempt to stick with exercise routines they hate, and then they're shocked when they can't stick with it.

This is me giving you full permission to never again engage in a fitness activity that you detest.  You never have to run another mile, take another yoga class, or swim another lap if you don't want to.   But you DO have to find your some kind of exercise that inspires you and, in a perfect world, you look forward to doing it most days.

(Sorry, my advice of "don't do it" does not allow you to forgo exercise completely.  And if your favorite form of exercise is arm curls from the cheeto bag to your mouth I'm not going to encourage you.)

so what are you going to do today?

Protein: not just for dudes.

Ladies, repeat after me:

Protein is your friend. 

Yes, that's right, your friend.  It can't break your heart or punch you in the face.  It's there to make you full and help your muscles stay strong.  So why are so many women afraid of it?

The other day, I was standing in my favorite smoothie place in LA, Bodyfactory , which is known for it's lower sugar, higher protein, overall healthier smoothies.  After placing my order I listened to the woman behind me give hers,

"I'd like a bitty berries smoothie but please only half a scoop of protein.  I don't want to get too big."

I openly stared at her like she'd grown a second head.  Or incredible hulk muscles.  This had to be one of the most asinine fitness statements I have ever heard.  I'm here to tell you, 30 grams of protein in a meal WILL NOT MAKE YOU GET BIG.  If that was the case we'd all have rippling muscles instead of just a tryptophan hangover after Thanksgiving dinner.

This is not the result of an extra chicken breast.
Wait....is that a man?

Newsflash: those women in bodybuilding competitions did not just wake up one morning, eat a few extra eggs and poof! Muscles!  They have spent months training very hard and eating very specifically and you'll see that even after all that hard, calculated work, they still are no where near the size of their male counterparts.  But trust me, lifting a few weights and eating some cottage cheese will not make you suddenly rip through your brand new Chloe blouse.

So how much protein SHOULD you be eating?  Ah, the $10,000 question.  There's a whole convoluted equation that you can read about here, at Fitsugar.

Or if you hate math (like I do) you can try this: eat protein at every meal.  In a perfect world you'll be eating 6 times a day (another post for another day) and this constant intake of protein will keep your metabolism firing and your body consistently fueled.  This makes resisting the office birthday cake WAY easier.  But I promise, it will not cause you to be confused with that meathead in the cubicle next to you.

Bon protein!

Fellow imperfect thinkers....

Skwigg is crazy.  In a good way.  She does crazy workouts and writes hilarious articles like this one : "Why the Scale Lies (best to just back over it with your car.)

I just love the title of this one, Three Fitness Blogs for Women That Actually Don't Suck .  Skwigg made the list so I know that Heidi knows her stuff.

This is one of my favorite girls on the web!  She's a model so I want to hate her, but how can you hate a model who eats bacon, mocks people on twitter, and still looks good doing it?

That's all I've got for now.  There is a highly selective process to make it on a links post, people.  I have to not only believe your bullshit, but laugh at it too.  So go forth and make me laugh.  And believe.